cattyfuzzy

INO - Probable ending and nowhere near completed...

Wed, 06 Jan 2010 05:34:56 GMT

One can slip into another reality so seamlessly that one won’t be able to realize it, Kurogane thinks. There was no sluicing of zero temperature water on his skin jarring him. He couldn’t even manage a reaction to what has been told to him over the phone. The dull dial tone is the only thing that he is able to register. The handset is still pressed tightly along his cheek, cupped against his ear. He wishes someone is still on the line. He wants to hear another voice, preferably someone telling him that he’s been pranked, not the nurse’s voice, non-emotive like the newscaster announcing another natural disaster from the other end of the world, like it’s none of his business because it’s too far away to affect him. But this is too morbid, too painful to be a joke.

Fay is in hospital. Fay committed suicide.

He looks down at the notepad. The scribble was barely illegible and he doesn’t remember writing down the details. He should be panicking by now, knows that his parents have to know about this and the questions that will follow later. But now, he needs to move. He forced himself through each movement, constantly forgetting what he is supposed to do next, only remembering his destination where his brother now lay. He doesn’t trust himself to drive and hailed a cab instead. On the way there, his palms bleed from the tension and the pressure of nails cutting against skin. Again, he doesn’t register the sensation and everything after was ran on autopilot till he was standing beside the bed ensconcing the fragile frame of Fay, staring blankly at limp blonde hair and all too pale face, rough cotton covers pulled right over the shoulder with his left wrist exposed till the elbows, plugged with plastic tubes of saline and some drips he couldn’t recognize. At this point, he’s really praying that someone would just backhands his face so he can wake up from this nightmare.

But the sight of his brother’s chest gently rising and falling, the quiet beeping of the machine set up by the side of his bed and the sharp tang of antiseptic in his nose won’t let him get away. He’s snapped back from a cold place into the one where he currently is in, breathing in air thick like smog and remembering with bewildering clarity how Fay’s lips taste against his and how Fay’s face flashes, bright shade of pink on the tip of his cheekbones when he comes keening in his embrace, remembers the sound of Fay’s laughter whenever he snorts milk out of his nose when he’s surprised, remembers tender caresses of Fay’s fingers on his face and he squeezes his eyes together and clutched the fabric of the hospital scrub Fay is wearing, unable to stop the tears from falling. It’s only the soft ahem from the doctor standing at the door that stops him from completely falling apart. She has warm hazel eyes and apologetic expression that’s rarely seen on medical staff nowadays.

“Are you family?” she asks softly, her right hand that is holding the clipboard containing the vital statistics of Fay hangs by her side. Kurogane nods in reply. “Are you his brother?” she asked again, eyes looking straight into his probing for something. He doesn’t know what yet.

Kurogane gives another terse nod in reply.

“I’ve called your parents, they should be here soon.”

“What…” Kurogane asks with a slight shift of his body towards his brother and a grim tightening of his lips, unable to voice out the full question without fearing that it would come out in a scream instead. She walks forward and Kurogane catches the name on her tag, Dr. Strommer, as she reaches out with an arm and guides him to the couch opposite the bed, gesturing for him to take a seat.

“Your brother OD on heroin and there were traces of cyanide in his blood. I would have pinned it down to an addiction he might have, but further tests shows no contamination of drug abuse. Are you aware if he was suffering from depression, or some other traumatic event?”

Kurogane looked away from her and bite the inside of his cheeks. He’s not sure if he could provide a reasonably believable answer. For a moment, he wants to let go and relieve himself of their unspeakable secret, wants someone to pronounce judgment on him but he thinks about their parents. They don’t need to know this. He lies instead.

“Not that I know of…how is he?’

“He’s in a coma right now but he’s going to be fine. If his friend brought him in any later, we would have lost him. But the amount of cyanide he ingested might cause a delayed onset of Parkinsonism or other neurologic sequelae.”

“Meaning?”

“Put simply, it’s postural instability. We are not sure how soon it will manifest or the severity of it. He might suffer from vertigo, problems with sight and constant disorientation. We have supportive treatment and how well he recovers will vary greatly. What does your brother do?”

“He works as a dancer.”

“It’s not advisable for him to continue. At least not till he has completely recover…” she faded off leaving the ‘if he recovers’ unsaid, but Kurogane hears it all the same and knows that he will bear the guilt of crushing his brother’s life for the rest of his. It’s not until this moment that the repercussions of their serendipitous affair fully sank into him. He staggers up from where he’s seated to back beside Fay again, reaches for his brother’s hand, absorbs the quiet weight of it in his and whispers his name.

ooooooooo

Miyaki looked anxiously at the clock on the wall, her hand twisting the handles of the railing by the bed in an aggravated manner. She looked down at Fay shaking her head, and whispering endearments all mothers say when their children are sick. George sat beside her, expressionless and strained. The fact that her baby is still alive brings no comfort to her compared to the whys that was still unknown to her, which had pushed Fay to desire death.

“I don’t know why he would do this, George…Kurogane told me just last week that he was doing fine.” She said in half sobs.

George looked at his wife and pulled her by her shoulders to lean against him. He can’t find the right words to say to ease her worries.

“He’s alright now, pumpkin. He’s going to be alright.” He said softly as he rocked her gently in his arms, trying to believe what he is repeating in her ears.

“I should have known something wasn’t right…how could anything be right when he refused to come home at all?” Miyaki continued her voice trembling and George can feel the wetness soaking through his shirt. He steers them slowly out of the room. Miyaki follows docilely, too distress to do otherwise. He sits her out on one of the armchairs littering the corridors and kneeled down infront of her, sharing his paternal grief with her in silence, listening to her soft mumblings of lamentations towards herself. That she should have known.

How could she know? How would the life of his guileless wife be if she was told the truth?

There are stories in George’s life that he chose not to leaf through again, but to understand the senseless giving away of such a young life, he needs to peer deeper into another time. He’s seen the start; he just needs to stop ignoring the details that led the family here. George releases his hold on his wife, presses a reassuring hand on her shoulder before he walked to the window and just stood there looking out at the sprinklers in the garden of the hospital. He concentrates on the view outside, avoiding the reflection on the window. His face disintegrating into the grime stuck on the glass, the eyes looking back at him are a whole patch of dark and he sees the age of his life festering in the lines on his face. He’s learned a lot throughout his life and the things he knows are the undeniable truths of life. There are things that happened for a reason, there are things that are destined to pass, when one seeks, one is sought, when one chases, the other will follow, when one sleeps, one is awaken and when one lives, one will also die.

When Fay makes his bed, he had already decided that it will be Kurogane who lies in it.

He’s seen it before one innocuous summer day when his boy was still his baby, before he stops thinking of him as his son, and starts seeing him as an abomination. He’s vowed never to speak of it again. Now he regrets his choices, perhaps he could have sorted out the mess in Fay’s head before everything exploded to the surface. Now, he’s lost both his boys. There is nothing that he can say to himself to make everything better. He could kneel forever infront of the lord questioning what want wrong, asking why the fates of his children were damned from the start, but the sins of his children are his to carry. Perhaps he had planted the seed of evil himself when he was young, when he has no faith or belief. He has no right to question. He has no right to demand for neither mercy nor justice, only to bear the passing of his family’s secrets.

“Dad?”

George turns at the voice of his eldest son, hears the helplessness in Kurogane’s voice and looks up to a weary face, so burden and broken with guilt. He almost forgets how young his boys truly are. They are not as well versed in the ways of the world as he thought them to be. He should blame himself for letting them fly too soon. Yet he can’t keep the burning shame spreading across his chest, or the anger making him clutch his hands into fists. He feels the thump of his pulse in the veins along his neck and the tiny spasms of his muscles as he fought to control the bellowing rage swelling in him. He stands to walk to the other end of the corridor, out of earshot of his wife, glances behind to see Kurogane give his mother a comforting hug before pulling away to follow him.

Yes, he tells himself, he is mad. He is mad at Kurogane for not knowing better. He’s the elder. He’s supposed to know better. But he says nothing, does nothing when Kurogane settles and leans beside him by the ledge of the window. Because George understands that he is only human, an ordinary man and an ordinary man knows not of the mistakes they made, just like how the day will never know the darkness of night, he knows not of his own foolishness until everything is over and lessons are learnt too late. He just lets the inevitable silence loom over them, wait till Kurogane breaks and spills.

Some things he already knew. Still, there are others, and those are the ones he needed to know.

Kurogane looked down, scruffs his canvas shoe against each other, pressed his back stiffly against the glass of the window and tried to blink away the hysteria threatening to burst forth. He doesn’t know where to start because he can’t start from anywhere. What was he supposed to say? There is no starting point, there is no middle ground and the truth is as ugly as it gets. The words stutter before they are out and Kurogane chews on the inside of his lower lip, and promptly loses steam. He loathes himself for all the running away he has done. It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last time, but he can’t avoid this time. Fay had dealt out his consequence, he can’t run away. He can’t let thing spiral further out of control.

“I…we…” he tries to get the words that are their story on his tongue past his lips. They melt and spread and stick themselves on his tongue like bitter molasses, make him speechless. He scraps his teeth on his tongue, hard so it draws blood, wakes it up from its stupor and he starts again. “We were togeth…”

And just like that, George thinks he has heard enough, that that is all the confirmation he needs. He doesn’t need anything else to prove or disprove of what goes on behind closed doors when his sons are together.

“Fay…I loved him so much, you know?” George whispers softly cutting off Kurogane mid sentence, fixing his gaze on his wife instead of his son as he speaks. “He was so small the first time I saw him in your mother’s arms, thought I would never let him go. But he grew up and you became the center of his world.”

“Dad.” He can’t seem to say anything apart from murmuring ‘dad’ over and over again; his whole being set on standby flight reaction. He’s extremely finicky with his dad being so calm. There’s a huge part of Kurogane that wants to hide his face from his father’s eyes as he speaks. Somehow he knows. He would know wouldn’t he? Some mothers know best, his father knew better.

“For a long while, I thought he’d only worshipped you.” George says as he remembers the unusual intimacy he spots in their interaction, and the pause George has before the next sentence hangs like a suspended guillotine.

He wants to say it out, expose his own little secret. Let his eldest son know about the searing shame, anger and betrayal he felt, still feels, and that can never be put into words when he saw his baby’s eyes closed tight, hand stuffed under his shorts panting out a name that shouldn’t be called out in such circumstances. It was a memory too sinful, too immoral, and too obscene and one he cannot force himself to completely forget, or to remember in Technicolor details either. It sits in his memory bank, out of focus where the vague outlines of it are enough to remind him of what happened. He failed as a father from that moment, choosing to hate his son instead for something he didn’t know better. He diminished his responsibilities as a father towards Fay and transfers his misplaced hopes to Kurogane, refusing to talk about what he had seen in fear that it will somehow contaminate Kurogane if he were to even learn about it in the slightest detail. He looked around the corridor, sees nurses and patients lingering about in the space around them and surrenders his urge to lose control. It’s not a dialogue to be had in a public place like this.

They don’t need to know his failures. They don’t need to see the skeletons left drying in their closets.

Kurogane closes his eyes and tries to control his staccato breathing. He doesn’t wonder how his father knew and he won’t ask because he can’t deal with the grievances his father has towards them now. But dad needs to know what his heart will follow; the time for forgiveness is too early and he wonders what does one do when one did something that was never supposed to happen.

“I’m sorry, dad. But I love him. I really do…”

Sorry.

It’s just a five letter word. Take them apart and they don’t mean a thing.

Sorry.

It is irrelevant to a family that no longer exists.

Sorry.

He’s not feeling it right now.

“I want you out of my house and you’re not allowed to tell your mother anything.” The words came out too cold, too calm.

“Dad…?” Kurogane repeated not understanding, tail spinning from the final call his dad just laid out to him.

“Don’t…” George says and feels the progressive rage build up again, and feels like gutting himself as he quests for the right thing to say. He gives up within a few seconds when he realized he can’t bring himself to look at Kurogane, or even to choke out another word. He feels his son turns to look at him, and he feels his hurt and confusion but he will not react to that violence possessing him. He’s too afraid that if he strikes out, he won’t be able to stop.

He hears Kurogane step away, footsteps unsure and frightfully hesitant. He hears the regrets that will be haunting him for the rest of his life, he feels the bitterness in the membranes of his skin and thinks about how life will continue at home and how does it feel for Kurogane on the inside. Mostly, he thinks about what kind of a person he is. Ineffectual, he surmises. That’s the kind of person he is. He thinks about how relentlessly one’s mistake chases after oneself, and it will be years after before he comes to the conclusion that he is the one who failed them all. He cannot forgive himself and won’t let anyone say otherwise to him. And he would hate himself for it, because from the start he was only concern for himself. How he felt about the involuntary love Fay has for his brother, the shame that would follow his family name, his reputation, what the church would say and the inability to deal and nip that sinful emotion from the start.

He is their father, they are both his sons…how is he ever to accept this? He is the father who had presented his sons with both hands to the devil for the sake of his own peace, and he knows amongst them, who had sin the most.

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 14:40:11 GMT

I written some more poems inspired by Fay and Kuro's relationship. As I've said before they never fail to move me. Enjoy...

Between Us

ooo0000ooo

Do you dream

I am never far from you

Tis night grows colder as I fall from reality

Daylight is but an obscure notion

I pray it comes not

ooo0000ooo

I have threaded so carefully

But this ice is too thin

I have fallen through

ooo0000ooo

Blossoming in your hand

Summer rose so red

Has the scent reached you?

ooo0000ooo

Melancholy streams through

Autumn leaves hide countless secrets

The river flow never ending

ooo0000ooo

Butterfly free you go

The green is your home

Where thou shall go?

ooo0000ooo

These chains of entanglement

How long will they bind me?

They could twirl for eternity

But parallel roads they travel

Star-crossed lovers

We were never meant to be

ooo0000ooo

I am shackled

This path that I walk has no end

Evening star

Your burning intensity is my inspiration

Evening star

Your light guides me towards salvation

ooo0000ooo

Fire, you can’t burn me

Fire, you can’t warm me

Fire, you can’t melt me

Fire, I am not to be conquered

Fire, I will extinguish your blazing light

Fire, your roar defiant

Fire, you are in the glacier’s heart

Fire, give up

ooo0000ooo

Ice,

You say I can’t burn you

You say I can’t warm you

You say I can’t melt you

But I’m untouchable

I’m the fire that exists under your barren ice

Tendrils of flames under your skin

I’ve scorched you.

ooo0000ooo

Cupid’s arrows

Lost their aim

Hero in my life you’re not

Wither and shrink with a yelp

Pretty you are but all fluff

Damsel in distress is you

Superman I’ve become

How am I supposed to know?

This union’s bequeathed me wrong?

ooo0000ooo

Forbidden you are

A bitter taste you leave

What keeps me coming back?

Let this insatiable lust consume us

There will be no regrets

Heaven’s doors have closed on us.

ooo0000ooo

This sin I partake with you

My desire renders me unrepentant

Tears flows in rivulets

Hell's fire beneath my feet

They won't be doused

I welcome it with open arms

ooo0000ooo

Silence surrounds me

Summer cicadas no longer cries

The world stopped its orbit

My suffering knows no end

This deserted shoreline before me

Yields no answers

But yet it whispers my secrets

ooo0000ooo

This life we spoke about...have we lived it?

ooo0000ooo

Tsubasa FanFiction - Lost In You

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 06:22:04 GMT

From the long road of life that we traveled, I think we were friends

But if there are expectations I think it’s the best to keep our silence

You who always smile never spoke. The world seems to understand you

The moon is always by the earth and the earth is always by the sun, I’ve always thought the universe is a peaceful place.

A meteorite whizzed past the night sky tonight, a premonition perhaps?

In the silence you held my hand and I felt the night sky shattering above me

The rhythm of my heartbeat thundered in my ears, the stars are sparkling. What do you say?

Your heart must be a lake smothered by fog that no matter how brightly the moon shone, its light will never reach its surface

Your eyes reflected the gentle lapping by the shore of that lake and that gentleness is my temptation.

But you should not have me when you already have someone else, for the moment the purity of the world is robbed away from my senses and Mesmerized by you.

I think I should let go now…gently…gently but I found I’ve lost the strength to do so.

Lost in You

I see your silent form sitting by the pier, lost in your thoughts. What were you thinking of now? Do you still miss your king? The breeze from the ocean teased and caresses your pale golden hair and it makes you smile in a way so endearing, in a way so intimate that I wished I was that breeze. I envy it for the moment because it touches you in so many ways that I never will, it kills me inside to know I may never be given the chance to do so.

Am I a friend to you now? I think you are beginning to trust me…it is a long road ahead but I think you may be opening your heart. How long would I still have to wait?

The witch has taken your magic. I miss those blue eyes of yours, it’s my fault that you lost them both. I am afraid of your sacrifice because I read too much into it, should I hope? Should I even dare to think about the implications?

You have started to care for me, you said you wanted to live. Please let me know…pour out your heart to me. It is all that I wish for…to know if you want my love. In the descending darkness that reaches out for us, I want to be the one who carries the light for us…no for you. Only you.

I watch as you turned and looked at me…is that resolution I see in your eyes? Hurry…come to me. The ocean and the breeze have become too possessive of their new distraction. My fiery temper is ignited by their will so bent on conquering you.

Will you laugh at my extraneous jealousy or will you cherished the thought of it? This is how much you affect me…the world that I knew is now a distant past, you’ve walked into my life and turned it upside down. You are a force that I cannot counter and you are a mystery that I can’t unlock.

I tremble deep within as you stood infront of me and laid your hand on my cheek, my overheated skin seemed to combust from that gentle touch. You leaned in closer and smile as you watch my face grew red before you called out one of my nicknames again but it was not in jest. What is that emotion in your eyes that I can’t seem to catch? You say nothing and do nothing but stand close and you know you have me cornered. You brushed your lips against mine so softly and so quickly that I have no time to react.

You smile again and turn to leave…you know I will follow because I am so lost in you….

Tsubasa FanFiction - Sacrifice

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 06:19:21 GMT

Sacrifice

“So your magic is completely gone?” Kurogane asks as he softly stroked the head of soft blond hair and watched the mage sigh and snuggle closer to his body.

“Don’t worry yourself over it…it was my decision to make.” Fay answered.

“Are you trying to lose all of yourself? I can’t keep paying Yuuko to keep you around.” Kurogane said as his arms tighten around the mage. How grateful he was to Fay for returning his arm would never be shown verbally for it was a price that Kurogane himself could never repay. But he was insanely happy that Fay did that because it shows just how much Kurogane means to him and that it was an affirmation of the mage’s feelings towards him. Yet it was amusing the way they keep paying for each other’s life…he hoped the journey would be ending soon, they don’t have much more of themselves to pay for their wishes anymore.

“Your arm is important to you…you wanted me to stay alive isn’t it? I am still here, my magic is a small price to pay.” Fay said as he reached up and gently cupped Kurogane’s left cheek and gazed into crimson eyes. It was true, nothing was too heavy a price to pay as long as he could stay with the man who had saved him countless times and showed him the meaning of living and loving oneself. He could no longer image a life without him and had unconsciously, over time found himself making impromptu decisions to save the other’s life because the thought of losing him sent his mind into a frenzy. Which was why he had made a deal with Yuuko for her to sent them back to Nihon and give Kurogane a new arm…a man as perfect as him cannot live with a defect, whether it was physical or not. Fay needed him to be perfect so he could draw strength, love and life for him to continue their arduous road ahead. It sounds selfish but Fay felt that he deserves it after being through so much and he was sure Kurogane would not mind him for thinking in such a way.

“As long as you are still here…with me…Fay.” Kurogane said as he took Fay’s hand away from his cheek and placed a kiss on his knuckles, his gaze never leaving the mage’s amber eye before he realized that Fay is no longer a mage after stripping all of his magic powers. He is now truly a vampire. He wondered if Fay’s eyes would turn back to those beautiful azure that he loves so much if they found the other missing eye but then decided that amber suits Fay just as well if not better, it made him look more determine and sure of himself, his glare more penetrating and deadly. It gives Fay an edge that he never had before. It also made him so much more enticing and a totally different person altogether…

‘It was losing the most important parts of ourselves that we are given the opportunity to be born anew, it is a rebirth. It was giving up something that was most important to us that we realized why exactly we did that…it was because there was someone else who is more important and above all those things that one once considered precious to them. It is a sacrifice to understand what your heart has been trying to tell you…that you have found the person you love and whom you would give all to without hesitation. Yes, these are the sacrifices that has pushed us together, isn’t it Fay?’ Kurogane thought to himself as he brought his lips to Fay’s, feeling pliant lips against his. So sweet, so soft, he would never tire of tasting him.

“Kurogane..” Fay murmured into the kiss as the heady sensations rushed up to his brains, effectively rendering him speechless for the moment. His kisses always does this to him, makes him feel as if he has never been kissed before. But in someway, it is how it is, Fay had never been loved so completely and deeply before. In his rapture of emotions, he hoped that nothing would go wrong and whisked all these away from his grasp.

He would sacrifice anything and everything to be by the side of Kurogane…because he is the only reason why he is alive.

Tsubasa FanFiction - You

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 06:18:10 GMT

You

Kurogane sat behind him on the steps, watching him watch the turquoise ocean, the waves gently lapping at his feet and retreating and then splashing up the shore once again playfully as if it was trying to entice the owner of that pair of feet into a game of jump and chase. The pair of feet didn’t budge but dug its toes deeper into the soft, wet sand enjoying the coolness hidden beneath its surface.

The warm yellow gold of the setting sun lit up around his silhouette, framing his slender frame in a halo of golden light, the gentle evening breeze teasingly ruffled his pale blond hair and the crimson silk kimono he is wearing, making the white flowers embroidered onto the kimono looked as if it was really swaying in the wind, the red silk producing a glaring contrast on his fair ivory skin, making it look even more perfect if it was possible. It was mesmerizing, the purples and pink hues of the dusky sky seems the perfect background for the man standing in his vision.

Kurogane wonder if he would ever tire of such a sight, would he be blessed enough to watch over this man for the reminding of his life. He prayed often that their newfound bliss would never be destroyed and would never end.

He remembered the day when everything started falling apart and how the mage lost his eye to the clone, remembered the icy tone when he called his name after he saved his life and turned him into the creature that he is now and the deliberate distance he kept since they left Acid Tokyo. It was heartbreaking and Kurogane wondered then how much would he have to take before he ends up falling apart himself.

Then came the day when they landed in Celes. That cold embittered country that the mage had come from and he realized everything he had gone through hadn’t been so bad, the mage had been through worst and Kurogane understood then the man that stands before him today, why was he so adamant in keeping his distance from everyone, why he kept refusing the love he was trying to give. But now, the memories that haunted the mage was gone, his twin granted the peace he ought to have the day he died was now finally at peace. Fay had found the closure he needed from the sin he thought he had committed all those years ago.

Although Kurogane had lost his arm and the long unshakable chains of fate were still at work, they were at least given some reprieve from everything temporarily and this loop had allowed them to come together briefly and reconcile their differences. Allowed everyone some time to come onto their own and recover from recent traumas.

He also thought about how he had changed ever since he met them, his make shift family. He had lost most of his fiery temper by now and think about everything much more then he used to. He learned that power and strength isn’t necessarily gained by killing others stronger then you, it doesn’t mean that you have to be the most powerful in order to be the strongest.

The will to live and make the necessary sacrifices to protect the ones you love was what makes one the strongest and Kurogane thinks that it was the ultimate sacrifice that he has made that caused the mage to change his mind about what was happening between them. Somehow, it made everything he had suffered, worth his while.

“Hey…” a mellow calm voice called out to him and he look up as he came out of his thoughts to look into that azure eye that had held him captive ever since he looked into them at the witch’s boudoir.

“You think too much nowadays, Kuro – sama.”

Fay smiled as he posed his question to the man seated in front of him. His eyes unconsciously traveled to the fabric that hung loosely around the stub of Kurogane’s arm and his heart cringe involuntarily as the image of a bloody arm came back to him again. He didn’t want this…so much sacrifices made for him. He should have came back to Japan safe and sound…not burdened with a leech that was going to drain him of his blood forever and missing important body parts that is so crucial for his survival as a swordsman. The only things that didn’t change was that the man still looked as imposing as ever whether he had both arms on him or not, he still smirks in that arrogant way of his as if he’s the king of the world and still look at him with his crimson eyes burning with love and desire…that look that always causes his stomach to end up in knots and sends butterflies fluttering to his chest.

“Hn.” Kurogane grunted his reply and continued looking at Fay.

“Do you plan on telling Tomoyo-hime about it?” Fay query as he sat down on the step beside Kurogane and leaned his head on his shoulder. Kurogane savor the moment, it was still rare for the mage to initiate an act of physical intimacy.

“She knows well enough, I think…I’ll go as far as to say that she has been expecting it.” He had no doubts that the shrewd princess knows what was going to happen since she has the same abilities as the witch to see into the future, albeit given vague glimpses of it.

“Will you regret it?” Fay asks looking at the ocean ahead. He knows the answer but somehow he needed more assurances from the man himself.

“Will you stop being the fool? After so long, I’ve finally gotten what I wanted…I’ll never be able to let you go.” Kurogane grasped Fay’s chin and tilted his head till he was staring at the azure eye again and stray his thumb across the patch that covered his damaged eye. Somehow, he shouldn’t be surprised that Fay would still ask questions like this, after all, he did fervently wished for his return to his motherland but it was impossible to stay even if he wanted to…they had to find Fei Wang and prevent him from further carrying out his crazed plans. He has to be stop or there will be no end to their suffering.

Fay just had to close his eye to prevent his tears from falling and thought it wasn’t healthy that he was crying much more often then before. How could Kurogane turn him into this shriveling heap of a damsel? This is what love does to you…love makes you weak against your emotions and desires…makes you forget your pain and see the present…one always comes undone by the love they carry. Fay thought and he smiled again as he look at Kurogane with tears welling up in his eye…these tears, Kuro, they symbolizes the happiness that you have bought me…only you…only you can see them..see me like this.

“At least I’m a fool for you…” Fay answered and burrowed his head against Kurogane’s neck and pulled the haori that he was wearing over the both of them to avoid the chill that was descending and they sat on those worn steps looking at the sunset and they were still there long into the night when the moon took over from the sun, lighting up the night with it’s silvery brightness.

Tsubasa FanFiction - All For You

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 06:17:11 GMT

All for You

“That hurts..!” Kurogane growled at Fay rubbing at his throbbing temple where Fay just landed a very sound punch.

“It has to…that’s why its payback.” Fay answered as a ghost of a smile graced his face again and he soothed his knuckles by rubbing it gently with his other hand. He hadn’t punched anyone for a long time now, physical force was something he had ceased to use since he had known magic.

“It’s worth it….” Kurogane whispered as his crimson eyes looked at him with all the love he had held inside him for so long.

“What was worth it?” Fay asked as he lowered his head and focused his gaze at the foot of the curtain waving gently from the soft breeze coming in through the wooden balcony.

“That smile of yours…” Kurogane murmured as he reached out to pull Fay down. He didn’t resist and just slide down till he was resting on Kurogane’s lap. “I’ve waited so long for you to come through. I was starting to worry that it might never happen.”

“I’m defeated by you…you know?” Fay answered as he lifted his hand and laid it on the recently heal wound. “So much blood…so much sacrifices…I can’t stand it anymore.”

“It’s not all for you…I did learn the meaning of true strength after all.” Kurogane replied as he cupped Fay’s head and leaned his forehead against his and looked into that endless azure that mesmerized him so.

“You did…didn’t you? Promise me you’ll never do something like that anymore, I don’t want you paying your life for me one day…” Fay whispered and fisted the fabric that was covering the stub of an arm that no longer exists, his tears welling up in his eye.

“I won’t, I swore to protect the ones most important to me. If I died, I’ll never be able to do that…never be able to protect you.” Kurogane answered with conviction “You know very well I can’t leave you alone…I need you to be strong.”

“Kurogane….” Fay couldn’t continue anymore as the tears that he tried to hold back flowed down his fair cool cheek.

“Don’t cry anymore…I want you to stop hurting, now that you can be happy…forget your tears and smile for me…live for me.” Kurogane said as he leaned forward and kissed away the tears that were staining that lovely ivory skin. Fay lifted his head and gaze right into crimson eyes, eyes that burned with tenderness and affection, eyes that only had sight for him.

How foolish had he been to refuse this from the start? Why did he ever doubt the heart of this man in front of him? Because of him, he had lost many precious to him…his parents, his friends, his country and his princess. If he didn’t agree to the devious plan Fei Wang had…if he didn’t yearn for the resurrection of his twin…none of this would happen. Kurogane would still be a complete man, without all these burdens that was never his to carry in the first place.

“Kurogane…” Fay whispered and sighs softly as he leaned forward and grazed his lips across Kurogane’s. That chaste touch didn’t satisfied him and he press his lips down harder and sucked gently on those sensual lips and underneath his hand, he could feel Kurogane tensed.

“Fay…?” Kurogane murmured as he pulled away reluctantly. No matter how much he wants this, he didn’t want Fay to be doing it just because he was over whelmed by his emotions.

Fay didn’t missed the questions that was unspoken when Kurogane called out his name and he leaned forward again, leaving barely a centimeter of space between their lips and he breathe in Kurogane’s unique scent and wondered why such a warrior like him could still smell like a bunch of basil and sandalwood.

“I want it…Kurogane. I want you.” Fay said as he watched Kurogane’s eyes widen in surprise before softening into an expression that Fay couldn’t quite read but he definitely did not miss the flash of lust and hunger that pass those eyes.

He didn’t need to say more as Kurogane swooped down and captured his lips, locking them in a tempestuous kiss that left the both of them breathless and panting heavily when they broke apart to catch some badly needed oxygen.

“Kurogane…don’t stop…” Fay breathe out, his hands entangled in Kurogane’s soft spiky hair making weak attempts to pull him in for another of those breath-taking kiss.

Kurogane moved his hands down as he pulled Fay’s kimono down those slender shoulders, exposing skin so fair, so smooth that even the moon’s beauty wane in comparison to it.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere…this is all for you…Fay…I’m all for you.” Kurogane murmured as he grasped Fay’s waist with his good arm and laid him down on the futon, raining soft kisses down Fay’s neck and chest before reaching out for the curtains and pulling them across to hide the futon they were laying on.

Somewhere in the Imperial Hall of Tomoyo-Hime’s castle….

“I can’t believe he had to pull the curtains right now!.” Tomoyo squealed as she clutched a fistful of glossy, silken hair in her hands.

“OhHoHoHo…Well, I think they deserves the right to some privacy after all this…won’t you agree?” came a familiar sing-song voice from the image projected on the wall by Mokona.

“But Yuuko-san…!” Tomoyo trilled off as she watched the projection disappear gradually as she muttered under her breathe angrily like a petulant child.

“Oh life is so unfair!”

Tsubasa FanFiction - Will You

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 06:16:12 GMT

Will you?

“Yuui” Kurogane grabbed his arm as he made a last ditch attempt to make the stubborn mage stay just for that little while longer.

“Let go.” Yuui bit out, his voice cold as steel as he tried to pull away from Kurogane’s iron grasp.

“I said I’m sorry. What more do you want?”

“Does your sorry ever mean anything?” Yuui asks and turn his head away to avoid letting Kurogane see the pain he felt.

“You are one who never wanted them to mean anything, so why ask? What do I have to proof before you learn how to trust me? When is it ever enough for you? I’m getting tired…” Kurogane answered softly as he pulled the mage back towards him as he sensed Yuui’s defenses waning down. The mage didn’t respond but just let himself be lull back into those arms that provided the support and strength every time he falls into the abyss.

“Then why don’t you give up? Why do you torture the both of us so?” Yuui whispered into the fistful of fabric he was clutching onto.

“If you haven’t noticed, I am quite the sadist…” Kurogane replied as he gave a weary chuckle and linked his arms around Yuui’s slender warmth and slowly ran his hand up and down the small of his back, loving the feel of taut muscles relaxing under his touch.

“Will you really give up than…?” Yuui answered as he snuggled deeper into Kurogane’s embrace and lean his forehead on his collarbone, tickling Kurogane’s nose with cool liquid gold.

“I won’t….will you?”

Tsubasa FanFiction - Sweet Nothings

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 06:15:00 GMT

Sweet Nothings

He watched as Kurogane slept, feeling the solid chest underneath his hand swelled up and down with deep even breaths. It was rare to see him so content and peaceful, the harden planes on his face soften and much more youthful looking in sleep. The grass below them was lush and thick making a comfortable cushion for them and he could hear the distant hum of cars passing by and the buzz of the city as every one went about their work. He was glad that they have this little moment to themselves before Kurogane has to return to his firm to attend to his usual cases.

They weren’t together for long and he remembered the first time they met, how that pair of crimson eyes had looked at him full of despise and loathing, haughty and arrogant. Fay had never felt so insulted and insignificant and he regretted asking the man for his help. But his agent, Syaoran has told him that he’s the best there is and that any dead cases under his hand would be fought to live and would be won and what could Fay say against that? Kurogane did proved himself worth the dignity he scrubbed off when asking for his help, he won the case for him and victory over the case had propelled his singing career to new heights as the press got more interested in him.

He had also in the end, managed to secure Kurogane’s exclusive services as his law consultant and learned a lot about the man in process, he grew to respect his righteousness and strong principles for he never would agree to anything that is not in the right side of law, he adamantly and absolutely abhor corruption and never gave in to pressure from higher levels. Fay had also managed to get Kurogane to look at him in a different view, managed to convince him that he was not the money grubbing toy boy that he thought he was, that he worked hard for every success he had today and that he would not be ashamed of being born a son of a murderer.

The sky overhead had grown dark as the wind picked up its speed; Fay knows he has to wake Kurogane up else they would be caught in the coming storm.

“Hey, sleepy head….wake up.” Fay called out gently beside Kurogane’s ear and ran his fingers through his spiky black hair.

“hmm…is lunch time over..?” Kurogane asked, his voice still groggy with sleep.

“You really should take a vacation, you’ll work yourself to death like this. Lunch time was over an hour ago.” Fay said as he anticipated his flare up.

“WHAT! And you didn’t think of waking me up!” Kurogane growled, almost shouting and sprung to his feet as he grabbed his suit jacket off the ground, hastily dusting away the remnants of grass that stuck to the fabric, all the while glaring at Fay.

“Ne…Kuro-pipi, you should thank me for letting you rest a bit more. You won’t look handsome with those eye bags, you know?” Fay said as he reached out to Kurogane’s arms for support as he picked himself up off the ground.

“Who cares about eye bags when I’ve got paying clients waiting for me?”

“That was selfish, you don’t care about my opinion anymore?” Fay whined and pouted as he linked his arms about Kurogane’s neck, mimicking a look of misery.

Kurogane sighed in defeat, he hates it when Fay turn on that pout. He can never stay angry or refused anything once that pout was thrown his way.

“I don’t mean it that way and you know it.” He replied gruffly, his own arms had already nestled themselves around Fay’s waist on their own accord.

“You better not…or I’m breaking up with you.”

“Are you that petty?” Kurogane asks as a smile started creeping up the corner of his mouth.

“I could be if I want to…” Fay answered and lean in to plant a chaste kiss on Kurogane’s cheek.

“Hnn, you think too highly of yourself. I would be relieved if you ever choose to be rid of me.”

“Liar.” Fay answered as he let his lips wander to Kurogane’s.

“Never been one” Kurogane answered back as he returned the kiss and held Fay tighter against him, enjoying the feel of his soft slender body against his. All of a sudden it didn’t matter that he couldn’t be back to his office in time; it felt good just to be here in this quiet park, to have Fay in his arms whispering whatnots to each other.

“Don’t be a smart ass…” Fay whispered against the sensual curve of Kurogane’s lips as he felt him relaxing into his embrace. He didn’t think Kurogane would think that way, but it was the closest that he could ever come to saying sweet nothings as a lover to him…

Tsubasa FanFiction - Inevitable

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 06:13:59 GMT

Inevitable

He watched from the corner of his eye, another side of Fay unveiled to him, another truth about his poignant history that had made him the Fay he was today….the Fay Yuui had decided to become.

No, he decided, Fay…Yuui was not to be blamed, the pain he had carried for such a huge portion of his life must be laid to rest now. It was enough, the time for grieving was long past and Kurogane was sure that Yuui was not in the position to do anything at that time, how are you to know when you have seen your twin fall to his death? After being isolated for such a long time without the warmth of another being? How are you to know when a bigger entity was at work against your destiny? How are you to know when you’re taught to accept the fact that your birth was the work of the devil himself? That you’re the child of misfortune?

He felt the fleeting pain cross his heart again and wondered how long before all this pain will be over? There is only so much sorrow one can take before one falls, yet for Yuui, it seems to be a neverending abyss.

"Yuui..." He watched as Yuui cradled the body that was Fay, the small helpless child that had died for this journey to happen and Kurogane wanted so much to tell him that no one will blame him for the betrayal, no one will blame him for wanting to resurrect his twin. He was afterall also a pawn in this dangerous game of chess entwained with the twisted fate they were all played out to take.

He hated Fei Wang so much for causing them so much pain and sorrow in their lives, he wished that the apparition was real...he wanted revenge...he wanted to hear his sword slicing through that bastard who thinks that his ambition is more important than other lives. More than anything, he wanted Yuui to be broken of his curse...to be free of that accursed promise he had made so long ago. But now they have to concentrate on finding Sakura, for now, she has to be first. She is the key to the end of the beginning.

He glanced back at Yuui, he saw the despair once again in those eyes and he knows for sure he will be the one to take down Fei Wang...whatever the price. Even if his life will be sacrifice...if his love can't help Yuui, he would take the final step to end it for them all.

It was inevitable...

Tsubasa FanFiction - You Know

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 06:12:34 GMT

You Know

You would know

You know the truth of my smiles

You know the pain that is hidden behind my eyes

You know the jealously I feel of your loyalty to your princess

You know the gaping hole of my heart that longs to be filled

You know how my heart beats when you are near

You know how my body craves your heated caresses

You know the joy that course through me when you whisper my name

You know the fulfillment I feel when I quenched your unspeakable lust

You know the strings of my destiny will forever be tied to you

You know because you saw through me right from the start

You know my being can’t bear hatred towards your flaming heart

You know forgiveness is never far

You know because you saw to it that my heart would succumbed

You would know because when I surrender under your gently trusts

Your name is the only word seared into the memories of my mind

You would know because you have given me the courage to finally face my fears

Yet you wonder if I knew that I was the one who made you fall to your knees

Who made you twist and cry in anguish within your mind?

I tell you now that I too know your secrets and pain

I tell you now that my life is in your hands

I ask you now to hold my heart close because it only belongs to you

That my smile is real because of you.

Tsubasa FanFiction - Heart

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 06:10:12 GMT

Heart

I can’t fight when it comes to him, how easily I give up,

Did I intend to save him from the start? I can’t tell,

I was captured the moment I saw him,

It’s curiosity because I don’t understand how one could deny their own existence so vehemently.

I can’t stop watching him, I can’t stop wanting him,

Each shove he gives me reinforces my strength to push back,

His beauty is fragile, a thinly veiled surface that hides his ugly scars,

But I am bound to that beauty that pulls at my heart.

I stand close to him yearning to hear his heartbeat,

It is his proof of life to me,

Every touch of mine seeks his quickening breath,

It is his proof that I make him feel alive.

I can’t stop the pounding of my heart,

I can’t stop the rage every time I failed,

I can’t stop the ache every time I catch his tears,

I have stopped wishing for my homeland, does he know?

I watch him now as the fire of hate burns through him,

We have come to this now and there is no turning back,

He hates my name and I have no regrets,

Now I long for his hunger for my blood and I am glad since now I am his life.

I will persevere because I think he needs me,

Because he is no longer behind his fancy masks,

His smiles no longer empty and forced,

Because he longer smiles.

I saw him break as I fall absorbing the force of that lethal spell,

His defenses reacted as he unleashes his final lingering powers,

Ashura was no more,

His endless chains of eternal sorrow and pain are gone.

I felt his hand over my chest when I am asleep,

I heard his whispers soft and sweet,

Those words that I craved….

“Let your heart beat for me.”

Tsubasa FanFiction - Breath

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 06:08:41 GMT

Breath

The dark storm inside him brewed stronger and stronger and he can’t stop it, he can’t stop the anger and panic rising within him. He looked at the princess lying on the ground covered with her own blood and dropped the sword he was holding in his hand. He had done it, the inevitable can never be avoided no matter how carefully you thread. He backed away slowly from her body and crumpled to the ground and looked on helplessly as Syaoran picked up that limp body and ran in the opposite direction without throwing a glance at him. He hoped there was help nearby. He hoped he hasn’t stabbed any of her vital organs. He continued to stare at the blood trail until he felt hot tears running down his cheek.

Kurogane didn’t have enough time to react and watched as the sword pierce through the princess’s body and Fay’s shock as his eye widen finally comprehending what he just did before he withdrew the sword and let it fall to the ground. He should gather the rage that he was supposed to be feeling now, instead all he felt was despair. Everything has started to break apart ever since they left Acid Tokyo, everyone is slowly fading away. He tried to hold on to them, to prevent them from disintegrating but he had failed spectacularly. Especially Fay, he had failed to unravel the cocoon wrapped so tightly around his heart, he had failed to let him understand the essence of hope and life, he had failed to protect him from this, this gruesome episode that shouldn’t have happen. But it did and it had happened…what now?

Mokona looked on and opened his mouth, projecting Yuuko’s image infront of them, she looked at both man full of sorrow in her eyes. They weren’t supposed to be like this. Had something gone wrong with the prediction of Hitsuzen? She wished she could help but she could not, their journey must still continue and their pain must be carried to the end.

“Fay” she called out and Fay looked up at her.

“She’ll be alright. The power of her feathers will keep her protected”

Fay heard those words, but he could find no relief against the darkness that engulfed him.

“I wish for death Yuuko, will you grant it? I can’t continue anymore…I am too tired…do I still have anything that you want?” Fay said and turned his lifeless eye back to the puddle of blood on the ground.

Kurogane kept his silence. Though his heart aches with sorrow and regrets, he knows he no longer has any right to hold on to the mage’s life. He looked at Yuuko and nodded his head, telling her without words that he will not interfere this time.

“I will grant you your wish and as for your payment, I will take your pain and suffering. For once, you shall know peace.” Yuuko said as she closed her eyes and chant those ancient spells that she had hoped she’ll never use in her life. Somewhere in between, she wove in another and hoped that it will work and undo the spell she had cast before time runs out for Fay. When she stopped, Fay was slumped on the ground lifeless with a peaceful smile grazing his lips.

“Kurogane, take him to a safe place and keep his body well. I did not kill him.”

“What are you saying witch?”

“I just took away his hurt for a while, just enough time for him to find the peace he seeks and recover. It will be three days before he wakes up. Take care than and don’t give up Kurogane, if peace is not within the reach for Fay, your love is the other thing he needs most.” She smiled a wistful smile before the projectile fades away.

Kurogane knelt down and scooped up the lifeless body into his arms, he was grateful to the witch and grateful for the second chance that was given to both of them. He knows that it’s up to Fay now to find the strength he has abandoned in the deep recesses of his heart. Even though it will be another hurdle for Fay when he faces Sakura again, he knows Sakura will easily forgive for she too, understands the strings of Hitsuzen that was being played out.

For now, he awaits for the first breath to come.

Thank you so much for reading. I hope I didn’t make this too dreadful for you guys. Reviews are welcome!

Tsubasa FanFiction - Wedding Rings

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 06:07:23 GMT

Wedding Rings

Sakura stared at the turquoise box in front of her, she had secretly hoped that Kurogane would pop the question to Fay soon but four months has passed and still no action from the man.

She remembered how ecstatic Fay was the day when the law for marriage between the same sex was legalized and Kurogane had dragged her off to Tiffany & Co seeking her advice for the perfect ring for Fay. It was absolutely adorable, she had never seen Kurogane so flustered and indecisive as he looked at the wide range of designs available. Finally, they settled on an vintage design with a blazing sapphire encrusted in the middle of the band for Fay and a simple band of platinum with mini sapphires running through it for Kurogane himself. She really was happy for them, they have been through so much sadness and confusion. It seems like such a long time ago when they first met.

Kurogane was a successful lawyer who is at the peak of his career and Fay was an up and coming pop star embroiled in a scandalous affair with the mogul of the biggest recording company in town. Their first meeting was purely for professional reasons, Kurogane was hired to be his legal consultant and their love – hate affair started pretty soon after. They couldn't get along in the first place with Kurogane's impression of Fay being a slut who slept his way to the top and Fay's impression of Kurogane being the arrogant, lofty bastard that he was. Soon however, Kurogane found out about Fay's tragic past and his misgivings about Fay fade away to be replaced by sympathy and empathy and than to the protective love that he so longed to provide Fay with.

Fay on the other hand was not someone who accepted good intentions gracefully, he was constantly trying to push Kurogane away, pressing all his buttons hoping he will snapped and leave...but of course Kurogane being the stubborn oaf that he is, persisted and pushed forward bit by bit, till Fay gave in. To be frank, who wouldn't fall if such a good looking man spent a good two years chasing after you? To be frank, it was also lust for Kurogane on Fay's part when he started to open up the door to his heart for Kurogane to step in.

Well...she might have to lend a helping hand if Kurogane was suffering from some anxiety attack. Poor Kurogane, his brain was always on vacation when it comes to matters concerning Fay.

Kurogane in the meanwhile was in his office pacing up and down making the last minute arrangement for the flight and hotel confirmation, he wanted it to be perfect. He was on the phone talking to the concierge of the hotel when Fay burst through the door to his office, trilling about some newbie trying to emulate his style from his latest MTV and how un - classy was that? He snapped the phone shut without bothering to say goodbye and prayed that Fay didn't notice anything suspicious.

“Who's were you talking to? Kuro – chan?” Fay asks as he slump down gracefully onto the funky Nelson Marshmellow Sofa he had recently purchased for Kurogane's so boringly corporate looking office, the bright red sofa strike a strong contrast in the midst of black and gray tone furnishings.

He was about to answer when Sakura walked in without seeing Fay and plonked the turquoise box infront of him.

“I seriously wonder when will you propose to him? Are you losing your nerve?” She demanded loudly and realised something was seriously wrong when Kurogane's twitch near his eyebrow became very visible and he was signaling for her to look behind at the corner of his office.

Fay looked at the box and than to Sakura before turning his attention to Kurogane's mortified face before a wonderfully blissful grin appear on his face as he realized what was going on.

“Oh, Kuro – pii, that's so sweet of you. You were going to propose to me?” Fay purred and skipped across the room and gave Kurogane a tight hug before he dived for the box that contained those precious rings.

“Hn...Of course...what does this look like to you?” he growled half-heartedly. This was just great...Murphy's law is always round the corner waiting to pounce on him whenever something important is supposed to take place between him and Fay. This time it came in the form of innocent looking Sakura.

“Kuro – wanko...this is beautiful!” Fay whispered as he tried the ring on himself still with that silly blissful smile on his face, gazing lovingly at the sapphire that so matches his eyes.

“Well...I am glad you love it. Humm..silly, you are not supposed to put it on yourself.” Kurogane continued as he reached out for Fay's fingers and retrieved the ring.

He sigh seeing that his plans were so ruined he should at least have a go at it in the traditional way. He spun round and knelt down infront of Fay on one knee, took a deep breath and...

“Fay, I am sorry things didn't go the way I planned. I was supposed to bring you to...” Kurogane's blabbering was cut off by Fay's impatience voice.

“Kurogane - san...will you just ask the question?”

“...will you marry me Fay D. Flowrite..?”

“Yes, I will and I would have even if you didn't ask.” Fay replied as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring encrusted with a beautifully cut garnet stone, blazing and sparkling just like Kurogane's eyes and threaded Kurogane's finger through it as he gave him the sweetest kiss.

Thanks for reading and hope you guys enjoy it as much as the previous chapters. Any reviews are welcomed.

Tsubasa FanFiction - Enough

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 06:04:17 GMT

Enough

He watched as the blond took off his gloomy black coat and hung it behind the hook on the wall before divesting himself of the rest of his clothing and stepped quietly into the bathroom, they have no more qualms being naked infront of each other anymore after being through so many battles and after all they had been through. But for Kurogane every bit of that milky skin exposed tested his limits, he let his eyes drift from the delicate arch of Fay’s slender ivory neck to his scar less back and down to his firm derriere and his long endless pair of legs before Fay turned and caught his lingering eyes and stared back with his icy blue one before closing the bathroom door.

A flash of his dream last night came back to him, images of Fay pinned below him, softly panting as he trusted slowly into his tight ring of muscle, the pleasure of that heat and tightness overwhelming his senses. He took a deep breath and stood up and walked towards the window hoping for some other sights that would provide a safer distraction, lust is not something he could afford to entertain for now. He was still looking out of the window when he heard Fay exit the bathroom.

“I need to feed.” Fay said simply as he stood by the doorway, towel hanging dangerously loose on his hips.

Kurogane turned to look at Fay surprised with the request made. The mage would never take the first step no matter how hungry he was, he narrowed his eyes but didn’t say anything as he sat himself on the bed and waited for Fay’s approach.

Fay slide himself onto Kurogane’s lap still slightly wet from his shower, his hair dripping cool droplets onto the ninja’s heated skin and placed his hand on his chest, feeling the heartbeat sped up from his touch. He held Kurogane’s gaze as he leaned forward to his neck and sunk his fangs down and suck gently at the thick, warm blood that flowed out. He does love the taste of Kurogane, everything about the man was sweetness masked with his constant darkness. Addicting in the long run once you’ve had a taste.

Kurogane closed his eyes when he felt Fay broke his skin and felt his soft, pliant lips on his neck and he let his hands wandered up to Fay’s arms circling the cool skin underneath with the pad of his calloused thumb and pulled the mage closer to him. He doesn’t know why Fay wanted to feed this way but he wasn’t going to object to the opportunity of that closeness that Fay once provided so easily. He let his hands wander again, landing feather touches on Fay’s body and felt Fay shudder and his breathing hitched as his hands wandered too low and too near to the place that was between Fay’s thighs. Somehow, he pushed too far as Fay’s head snapped up and glared at him with the amber eye he attained once he turned into a vampire. Fay pushed himself off and walked towards the door before he lost his cool, the teasing had gotten out of control, he could feel the undeniable hardness of Kurogane gently nudging at him. He didn’t think he would deny his own lust, couldn’t trust himself to do so.

His hand was on the doorknob when a pair of muscular arms slammed down on either side of him and that deep, velvety voice spoke out trembling with lightly disguised anger.

“Don’t be such a damn tease and don’t push me over because I can’t promise I’ll be safe to be around after that.”

Fay turned to face Kurogane still with the vampire eye and smile.

“What did I do to you now, Kurogane?”

Kurogane didn’t answered but pulled the mage roughly by the chin with one of his hand and gave him a punishing kiss, tasting his own blood and a trace of Fay’s cool minty taste and managed a throaty moan from Fay as he broke off the kiss and smirked as he saw the mage's glazed, lusty expression with his fingers trailing the path along his lips where Kurogane’s tongue had swiped acrossed.

“You did to me what I just did to you. But I guess that’s enough for you isn’t it?” Kurogane said sharply before he swung out of the room, leaving Fay to his thoughts.

Jeez...they can't just get it over and done with can they? Hope you enjoy this one too, please kindly review. Thanks!

Tsubasa FanFiction - Unresolved

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 05:57:50 GMT

Unresolved

He tensed as he felt the larger man’s presence in the room. He really didn’t want to talk to him right now, he needs to concentrate and prepare for the fight that was coming up tomorrow and he needs to be able to connect to his princess without distraction. He wasn’t angry anymore, just resigned to the facts and he wished that Kurogane would understand.

He felt Kurogane’s soft breath on his ear as he stood behind him and saw their reflection on the window, so close but so far apart. He was painfully aware of the pounding of the steady heartbeat that was Kurogane’s and knows he wants him to feed but he simply wasn’t hungry. He was about to tell Kurogane that he preferred to be left alone right now when he felt Kurogane’s arms encircled his waist, pulling him back to lean on his broad hard chest. He didn’t fight back and allowed himself to be comforted by the warmth and strength provided by Kurogane, sinking into the blanket of security that Kurogane so willingly gave.

He wished things hadn’t ended up like this. He was moved by how Kurogane sacrifice his blood in order for him to live but his decision about his own life was not Kurogane’s to make, he should have just died and things would be easier for all of them and that clone would no longer pose a danger to Syaoran or Sakura, of course, his wish to be rid of Ashura’s chains would have been broken and he would finally be free. Now, they were all chained to each other and no longer have the privilege of being selfish for their own motives.

“I am sorry.” Kurogane whispered softly into his ear and lain his chin on his shoulder, pressing his cheek against his own smooth, cool one and he could feel Kurogane tighten his grip on his waist as if fearing he will struggle and fight against him.

“Don’t apologized, it’s not like you.” He answered and turned his face to look at Kurogane and found himself touched once again by those crimson eyes, burdened with the guilt and love he carried for him. But Fay knows he can’t let this love blossom because if it did, he would be completely torn and broken, he would never be able to recover from the heartbreak because he knows Kurogane’s love is too precious to lose. It would be best if they remained at arm’s length for the rest of the journey.

He pushed himself out Kurogane’s embrace and leaned in to place a soft kiss on his lips before nipping it with his fangs, savoring the taste of that sweet coppery metallic blood that seeped out of his lips and looked at Kurogane with his amber silt of an eye and said…

“Besides, I can still find other ways of ending my life without you interfering but I promise the next time…no one will be hurt.”

Great...I can't seem to curb my thirst for angsty moments between these 2..will really try to write some humor next...maybe not.

Thanks for reading...reviews are welcome!

Tsubasa FanFiction - Wonder

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 05:53:02 GMT

Wonder

“Mmm…yes, Kuro – Wanko, do it harder…oh yessss” hissed Fay with pleasure as he felt his muscles lose the tensions built up from a day of hard work. He was pleasantly surprised that Kurogane’s hands was not only a master of wielding swords but also wonderful with giving massages.

“Hey, keep it down. The kids may get the wrong idea with all that noise.” Kurogane growled and took his hands off Fay’s slender back, earning a loud whiny protest from Fay.

“But it’s so relaxing and nice, Kuro – daddy…where did you learn how to massage like that?” Fay said as he adjusted himself to straddle Kurogane’s lap, latching his arms over broad well muscled shoulders.

“It’s none of your business and get off me right now!” Kurogane barked as he tried to unlatch the mage who by now has gone totally boneless and comfortably draped over him. It’s funny how the blond always managed to escape his grasp or maybe he didn’t truly have the conviction to drag that warm soft body off himself?

He managed to somehow to push the mage’s head off his shoulder and gaze into a pair of sleepy blues eyes that indicated the exhaustion Fay was feeling and he wondered what harm it would be to just indulge him for a while. He laid Fay’s head back onto his shoulder and gently rested his chin on Fay’s head of soft blond hair and caught a whiff of Fay’s unique scent, which reminds him of those strange pods of seeds that Fay called Vanilla. Even with the mage sound asleep in his arms, it was difficult to keep himself from reacting to that delicious warmth Fay radiated.

It was maddening that his senses always gets jumbled up whenever the mage was near him, he couldn’t fathom how someone he found so infuriatingly hateful could have such an effect on him. The mage was always acting like a demented fairy and had that annoying need of clingy on to him whenever the opportunity strikes as well as giving him those ridiculously nonsensical nicknames, but when he sits by the window at night looking forlornly at the stars in that infinite piece of night sky Kurogane couldn’t help but feel the pull of Fay’s mysterious aura.

He wonders what had happened between the mage and his king and why was the mage sad all the time when he had been so determined to leave his country and stay forever a fugitive to his country.

He wonders if being sad justifies a person to wish himself to death just because the past might be too painful to face?

He wonders if he’ll ever know the truth behind Fay’s empty smile.

Thanks for reading...reviews are welcome

kuro fay Angst

Sat, 23 Jun 2007 07:20:23 GMT

Hi, I am looking for people who shares the same love for Kuro Fay, they are one of my fav couples.

Sat, 23 Jun 2007 07:08:30 GMT

Humm, I am so happy! Just got my namecards printed for this little biz I a starting up. I sell cookies! I have also updated my stories for Kuro Fay Yay!

TRC

Fri, 22 Jun 2007 17:00:48 GMT

I am really obsessing about Tsubasa Chronicles now....Clamp is great with their angst and thank god because I am a sucker for angst! I have just read VOL 18 of the manga, it's really slow here in Singapore, I know some countries are already on to VOL 19.....what a drag......

That's one of my fav pics I got from aarinfantasy and i think the artist was great portraying Juubei and Kadsuki!